2019 the Year I zenn-ed the Shit out of Nothing.

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2018 was a massive year. There was the busy life of having a kid who doesn’t sleep, working in the cafe my brother and I run and own (now just the bro runs and owns). It was the year Nath (my partner) graduated with first class honours from UTS and the year we decided we wanted out of Sydney so we moved everything up to the East Coast. I also worked on photography and booked some great jobs. I did portrait sessions, more commercial jobs like look books for The Smith Family, model portfolio shoots and small business content. There was also a new short film I starred in and a creative series about women who are against the grain which included me.

I started up my new blog ‘Along the Way’ and built up the first three interviews and portraits. More importantly I built up a loyal and legendary readership. Our little blog went from zero to hero after a few good interviews (haven’t read them? go there here. )

So it was quite the year really. By the end of 2018 I was most definitely burnt out. I didn’t realise I needed a holiday until the doctor said ‘When was the last time you took a holiday?’. I knew something was seriously wrong when the docs ditched the drug prescribing and asked me such a logical and wholistic question.

We went to Nimbin and zenned the shit out of nothing at a maximum capacity (that so doesn’t sound very zen). I did relax though, I sat and stared at the way the sun hit the trees in the afternoon then when the sun had gone down I felt like I was on the very edge of the Universe as the night sky opened up like curtains on a stage to a huge backdrop that cloaked the day in black and silver.

I’d forgotten the natural state of things and how many stars there are up there. That’s sad to forget how beautiful the night sky is without street lights. When you remember how beautiful it is you realise how important it is to have places without street lights. There must be some city dwellers out there who have never seen the night sky full and bursting with so many stars.

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Meanwhile conversation was limited as my mind decided it had done enough talking and thinking for the year, all that was in there were random songs? which took me a little by surprise actually. Some real classics like ‘Working Class Man’ by Jimmy Barnes and ‘What about me’ by Moving Pictures.

Of course there was the anthem of 2018 ‘Let it Go’ from Frozen (if you have a small child you will understand) and then ‘Isn’t she lovely’ by Stevie Wonder popped up a few times. This strange collection took me by surprise and I was glad there were only a very small close group of us camping on a very large piece of land as I let the classic tunes swoop into my mind and slop out my mouth in some sort of resemblance of the originals.

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Now we are back and at the beginning of another year and I aim to bring in the year with more zen. I figured my mind that likes to overthink, over crowd, cloud and make a lot of sound needs to just stop trying to be in control of every aspect of my life and just sit back a little, take back seat, give me a break as i continue to build and create and randomly sing Aussie classics. Thanks for everything mind. You’ve been fab. It’s now time to zen out a bit so I can let creativity bubble up without you stomping it all back down only for it to be spat out like it was a bad idea. As my mate Alicia Rose and I say ‘Your mum’s a bad idea’…. Oh mum jokes, they take on a whole new meaning when you actually are a mum.

Here’s to a year of creativity, fun and cash money or prosperity if thats more suitable.

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