My love for Performance.
For at least a decade I have been acting. In the first few years of acting I studied hard. I went to NIDA and finished the screen actors course. This course was a 1.5 year course and it was a big deal! You had to audition to get in and there were at least 70 people auditioning. It was bloody scary but somehow I got in with zilch experience. From there I fell in love with performing and spent the next few years studying it at ATYP, Professional Actors Workshops LA, Screenwise. I loved every minute of it.
Un-like other actors I met I was constantly struggling to push through the introverted me. I watched other actors get up without a worry. I developed a little system where I could completely absorb myself in the character I was playing which helped me push through the fear. It would be at the end of the performance or the beginning where I’d struggle most. I remember finishing my performance at Kent Street Theatre and people were clapping and wanting to come up and talk to me. I found it really difficult at the time. One young group of kids from School came up and wanted to hug me (I was playing Meg from Michael Gow’s Australian classic ‘Away’). It resonated with some of the kids in the audience. When they came to say hi and give me a hug I felt like ‘the real me’ was going to let them down. I wanted to hide behind my character until they left. Allowing them to see me for me was very hard. It takes years of working hard on getting over these fears and building confidence. This is what acting has done for me. I think any shy person should hit up an acting class!
I headed over seas and had a manager in LA which was very exciting. She took me to get my hair done before an audition, she drove me to the audition, she rand up the producer after I finished the audition and got feedback she was amazing. It was exciting but there was the whole Harvey Weinstein thing happening at the time and I knew I wasn’t up for playing that twisted game. So I dropped out. I decided I loved acting but not at the sacrifice of my morals. To be honest I wished I could just play that game at the time. I saw other actresses able to handle it all but for me it made me so mad, sensitive and scared. It didn’t feel right.
Having had a baby and being a mum has yet again taught me to be strong and stand strong. Life keeps going and gets better and better so there’s no need to stress and think ‘life will be over when you turn 30’. Life just begins and you evolve and despite what the media will have you think women get better with age.
Here’s a trailer from a film I shot with my best friend Alicia Rose. This woman wrote, directed, produced this little gem and I got to be the star. I was nominated for best actress and the film was short listed for TropFest.